Don't fook with the russian mafi squirrels

Crimsontalon · Post by **Crimsontalon** » Fri 05 May, 2006 6:32 am

All i could do was stare when i read this report.
Now i'm never going to look at those cute little furballs the same again.

http://news.bbc.co.uk/1/hi/world/europe/4489792.stm

Mazia · Post by **Mazia** » Fri 05 May, 2006 10:41 am

LMAO the dog had it comming?

Turook · Post by **Turook** » Fri 05 May, 2006 6:33 pm

Quote
when a number of them suddenly descended and attacked

Wow the russian version of the Australian Dropbear

Crimsontalon · Post by **Crimsontalon** » Sat 06 May, 2006 9:18 am

what's that turook?

Denrel · Post by **Denrel** » Sat 06 May, 2006 12:32 pm

mythical carnivorous koala bear, said to drop from the tree's on unsuspecting travellers sinking teeth and claws to disable their victims.

on a side note while our regular versions are rather cute and tamed ones are huggable, they become a whirl of claws and teeth and snarls if ya ever find one pissed off.

Turook · Post by **Turook** » Sat 06 May, 2006 1:41 pm

It is not mythical at all. Just because no one has ever seen one means nothing. They are the most successful carnivore on the face of the planet having a 100% attack to victim ratio. No one has ever survived to describe what one looks like.

They are said to have fangs yay long tho and the venom that they use to inject their victims is quite deadly indeed.

With that said I do believe they pose as cute and cuddly Australian marsupials till the victim gets close and then WALOP, shows over.

Turook · Post by **Turook** » Sat 06 May, 2006 1:41 pm

Tiressa · Post by **Tiressa** » Sat 06 May, 2006 2:17 pm

That reminded me.. this was posted internally on DC boards, but should've been put in our boards, so I thought I'd share it in case it hasn't been seen yet.. The dropbear reminded me of it. (Heck, probably already been posted, but in case it hasn't....)

The questions below about Australia are from potential visitors. They were posted on an Australian Tourism Website and the answers are the actual responses by the website officials, who obviously have a raw sense of humor.

Q: Does it ever get windy in Australia? I have never seen it rain on TV, how do the plants grow? (UK).
A: We import all plants fully grown and then just sit around watching them die.

Q: Will I be able to see kangaroos in the street? (USA)
A: Depends how much you've been drinking.

Q: I want to walk from Perth to Sydney - can I follow the railroad tracks? (Sweden)
A: Sure, it's only three thousand miles. Take lots of water.

Q: Can you give me some information about hippo racing in Australia? (USA)
A: A-fri-ca is the big triangle shaped continent south of Europe. Aus-tra-lia is that big island in the middle of the Pacific which does not... oh forget it. Sure, the hippo racing is every Tuesday night in Kings Cross. Come naked.

Q: Which direction is north in Australia? ( USA)
A: Face south and then turn 180 degrees. Contact us when you get here and we'll send the rest of the directions.

Q: Can I bring cutlery into Australia? ( UK)
A: Why? Just use your fingers like we do.

Q: Can you send me the Vienna Boys' Choir schedule? (USA)
A: Aus-tri-a is that quaint little country bordering Ger-man-y, which is...oh forget it. Sure, the Vienna Boys Choir plays every Tuesday night in
Kings Cross, straight after the hippo races. Come naked.

Q: Can I wear high heels in Australia? ( UK)
A: You are a British politician, right?

Q: Are there supermarkets in Sydney and is milk available all year round? (Germany)
A: No, we are a peaceful civilization of vegan hunter/gatherers. Milk is illegal.

Q: Please send a list of all doctors in Australia who can dispense rattlesnake serum. (USA)
A: Rattlesnakes live in A-meri-ca, which is where YOU come from. All Australian snakes are perfectly harmless, can be safely handled and make good pets.

Q: I have a question about a famous animal in Australia, but I forget its name. It's a kind of a bear and lives in trees. (USA)
A: It's called a Gum Drop Bear. They are so called because they drop out of Gum trees and eat the brains of anyone walking underneath them. You can scare them off by spraying yourself with human urine before you go out walking.

Q: Do you have perfume in Australia? ( France)
A: No, WE don't stink.

Q: I have developed a new product that is the fountain of youth. Can you tell me where I can sell it in Australia? ( USA)
A: Anywhere significant numbers of Americans gather.

Q: Do you celebrate Christmas in Australia? ( France)
A: Only at Christmas.

Q: Will I be able to speak English most places I go? (USA)
A: Yes, but you'll have to learn it first.

~T~

Noggle · Post by **Noggle** » Sat 06 May, 2006 2:41 pm

Absolutely hilarious!

Turook · Post by **Turook** » Sat 06 May, 2006 9:01 pm

Thats FK'N funny

Crimsontalon · Post by **Crimsontalon** » Sun 07 May, 2006 6:16 am

It is not mythical at all. Just because no one has ever seen one means nothing. They are the most successful carnivore on the face of the planet having a 100% attack to victim ratio. No one has ever survived to describe what one looks like.

They are said to have fangs yay long tho and the venom that they use to inject their victims is quite deadly indeed.

With that said I do believe they pose as cute and cuddly Australian marsupials till the victim gets close and then WALOP, shows over.

Well lets see..lets take your sig tourook.....mess around with it.
and......
BHAM!
I have the reason we never see the bears..you are protecting us!

Denrel · Post by **Denrel** » Sun 07 May, 2006 7:47 am

pure gold crimmy $$, the only thing i'd maybe suggest is to move his name up underneath the wepon a tad and add a surname for him " Irwin "

It kinda fits too thinking about it. Steve dresses in green, carrys a stick inside his enclosures, would probably find treehugging pleasureable and the rest of oz consider him a bit of a dick but know he's very good with our wildlife =)

Turook · Post by **Turook** » Sun 07 May, 2006 1:11 pm

Hmm I might have to start using that Sig instead

Turook · Post by **Turook** » Sun 07 May, 2006 1:42 pm

Hmm I have it in strict confidence from a few sources that "Die you Wanker" is not strictly Australianese.

"Die you Bastard is maybe more like it?
Any other opinions?

Melodionxxx · Post by **Melodionxxx** » Sun 07 May, 2006 1:52 pm

I think "Die you drongo!" or "Die you nong!"

Thats awesome sig Crimmy, you are the best.

MeloxXx

Turook · Post by **Turook** » Sun 07 May, 2006 1:57 pm

Hmm Drongo maybe, Nong, no

Crimsontalon · Post by **Crimsontalon** » Mon 08 May, 2006 4:53 am

drongo...nong...ok you guys are just making up words now

and for the Irwin thingy...now that would just be an insult to the great man steve there heheh.

Mazia · Post by **Mazia** » Mon 08 May, 2006 9:59 am

Bastard is good but wanker is fine also

Gold crimmy

Miruwin · Post by **Miruwin** » Mon 08 May, 2006 11:17 am

Drongo is a member of Australia's bird species - full name Spangled Drongo - migrates during the summer from northern Australia and New Guinea into areas along the east coast of Australia

Nong is a pregnant Aboriginal woman - not sure which language group.

Turook · Post by **Turook** » Tue 09 May, 2006 2:25 pm

Mir has no idea what she is on about.

A Drongo is like a country bumpkin, someone usually easily fooled.
A Nong is another form of idiot or fool, usully meant in a friendly way.

Tiressa · Post by **Tiressa** » Tue 16 May, 2006 6:38 am

More drop bear info!

http://www.geocities.com/muirnin/db.htm

~T~

Melodionxxx · Post by **Melodionxxx** » Tue 16 May, 2006 8:57 am

So calling someone a Nong is an intensely racist statement? i.e you're as stupid as a pregnant aborigine?

Gosh, Neighbours has been tainted for me forever!

MeloxXx

Noggle · Post by **Noggle** » Tue 16 May, 2006 9:17 am

What about calling someone a Nog?

Melodionxxx · Post by **Melodionxxx** » Tue 16 May, 2006 9:32 am

Thats just plain rude!

MeloxXx

Miruwin · Post by **Miruwin** » Tue 16 May, 2006 9:57 am

http://www.amonline.net.au/factsheets/s ... drongo.htm

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