Buy my Dad a beer?

Melodionxxx · Post by **Melodionxxx** » Mon 23 Jun, 2014 9:55 pm

I lost my Dad, Phil Mottram to Alzheimer's a few days ago. No wait, it's a month! Funny how your mind plays tricks on you. The funeral and the scattering of the ashes were something that happened in another world a couple of weeks back, the final chapter in a long and cruel drawn out story. It's taken a while before I could face writing this down and ask for help, but here I am at last.

Phil was diagnosed with Alzheimer's a few years ago, and I remember clearly when I decided I needed to come home. I lived in New Zealand with my Kiwi partner and we came over to UK to visit. We stayed with my parents and saw for the first time the Alzheimer's erosion of my father's mind and saw the dread in my mother's eyes. On the day I left to return to NZ I was walking away from my parent's house, loaded with backpacks and I turned round and I saw her staring after me, there was such fear in her eyes, such a plea for help, that I turned round and came back and promised that I would come back to UK to help.

Two years ago I came back and began the darkest two years of my life, for the last 6 months of his life I moved back into their house caring full time as Alzheimer's gnawed my father's mind away like a worm in an apple.

In all mankind's inhumanity to man, in all his imaginings of eternal torments, we have conceived of nothing that even begins to compare with the surgically perfect cruelty of this awful disease, to watch a loved one being tortured to inevitable death takes you to some dark places. Some of you know this, some of you have yet to find out and my heart goes out to you.

He's gone now, and at peace. He was a greatly loved man, he inspired loyalty and affection wherever he went. He lived a great life and achieved great things. Don't take my word for it, here's an obituary from the Guardian by one of his students, Mike Leigh.

http://www.theguardian.com/film/2014/ju ... il-mottram

One of his great passions was a little village in Staffordshire called Ilam, he worked tirelessly to raise funds to restore a beautiful old memorial cross in the village centre. He became a bit of a local hero but again, don't take my word for it.

http://www.leek-news.co.uk/LJ-Ilam-Cros ... story.html

So, he was a good man, a devoted father, an inspirational teacher and many other wonderful things; will you buy him a beer? I have set up a tribute fund with the Alzheimer's Society, would you donate the price of a pint to his memory?

https://www.justgiving.com/Philip-Mottram/

Bless

Simon

Kiizze · Post by **Kiizze** » Tue 24 Jun, 2014 6:51 am

What a wonderful tribute to a loved father, Alzheimer's ravages a family and what you did for your family is inspiring. Happy to help.

Kiiz

biliy · Post by **biliy** » Tue 24 Jun, 2014 8:43 am

Bought a round for the old fella

Take care mate
B

Post by **Jarinu** » Tue 24 Jun, 2014 12:49 pm

Bought a round from the Family - cheers Melo he was a great man.

Melodionxxx · Post by **Melodionxxx** » Tue 24 Jun, 2014 6:08 pm

Thanks folks, we've had wonderful support from all over. Thankyou very much

Sonna · Post by **Sonna** » Tue 24 Jun, 2014 7:14 pm

Our hearts and thought are you and your family!
xx

Melodionxxx · Post by **Melodionxxx** » Tue 24 Jun, 2014 7:52 pm

For Maz

https://www.flickr.com/photos/simbosan/9231015982

Nuviana · Post by **Nuviana** » Tue 24 Jun, 2014 10:33 pm

Melo what a wonderful tribute. Losing a parent that you respect and love sucks, majorly. Thank you for sharing your story.

Western Australia	NSW / Victoria	Queensland	Japan	Pacific Time - EQ	US Central	US Eastern