3 new miracle drugs discovered, something i found today :)

[Vedrix]

We've all experimented in our lives.. sure, But who actually knew you could get totally wasted at your computer without taking anything? i saw this on a website earlier, and i think i laughed till i cried..

Well here they are boys and girls.


1. Jet lag: Don’t complain about it, embrace it. The feeling of extreme fatigue can be hurty and easy to give in. instead of napping next time, try to fight it. If you win you might* experience a euphoria like none other. You’ll move from tired, to exhausted (here’s where you have to fight it) then possibly a curve towards anger and crankiness. These side effects are short term if you can hold out and wait for your brain to start to feel like a Hershey Kiss melting in the palm of your hand. Something happens with sleep deprivation that feels like a combination of acid and heroin that’s actually quite lovely. Hands get tingly and you start to smell things from your childhood. Being silly enters your brain-space at the 20th hour when your thoughts and verbal skills are no longer able to recognize one another. This will lead to weird and amazing jokes that will plunk out of your mouth like pennies into a fountain. You can’t tell whether your eyes are open or closed but people will think you’re being incredibly cute regardless.

2. Scare Yourself: This is like the natural form of cocaine. Well, I guess coke is natural. So it’s like the safer form of it. Have you been missing the high you get from extreme paranoia? Look no further then scaring yourself. This drug helps if you’re alone and it’s very late at night, although sometimes having a partner around can intensify the high. Start by thinking that you need to turn all the lights on. Wait, but if the lights are on, I might not be able to see the escaped mental patient who’s secretly watching me from outside my window? Fuck. Turn the lights off. Now it’s too dark, what if he’s actually in the house, standing behind a door or in the closet? Shit. Make a phone call. Now he knows you’re scared. You just gave him the upper hand. Never mind that, just Google “escaped mental patients” with your zip code to be on the safe side. Or better yet, turn on the music really loud and the TV to distract you. But oh no, now no one will be able to hear you scream when he tries to stab you from behind… Hehe enjoy the high friends! Like cocaine, it can be addictive and also lead to a heart attack!

3. See How Long You Can Stay On The Internet: This is a high that feels similar to being on pot. Start with your favorite website, some coffee, a few snacks, have the TV on, and proceed. Always wanted to click a link but never had the time? Now’s your chance. Now click on the link that was linked to that link. And then the next link. Keep going until you ARE the MC Escher painting man! You started with a cute interior design blog and now you’re knee deep in “Fuck Yeah Neck Tattoos.” Do this for as long as you can. You’ll laugh, you’ll cry, and by the end you’ll want to organize your closet by color and volunteer at a soup kitchen. You also know how to make something called “peanut butter bumpers” and you may or may not have placed a bid on eBay for a Subaru Brat. Warning: crashing may include wanting to take a shower, calling your extended to family to see how they are, and possible doing a Tracy Anderson exercise video. Side effects: FOMO (Fear Of Missing Out), stalking, megalomania that comes from googling oneself, and guilt for wasting so much fucking time.

[Artreth]

I agree with No. 1, but 2/3 not at all.

Back in my Uni days, I would stay awake for days on end, just to feel the exhilaration of being awake for that long. The over tired panderings of 4/5 guys sitting around outside for 3 days straight smoking pack upon pack of cigarettes, and only leaving the table to bio, or get yourself another woodstock 440ml can from the fridge in someones bedroom.

Many of my assignements through uni were done in this state, and I remember one in particular I got a HD on, where in the middle of the essay, I actually quoted my actions of 'Going to make a coffee, and sandwhich, will brb' ... but the lecturer didn't even realise until I pointed it out after getting the mark.

Seeing a guy run to a lecture on a Saturday in his Boxer Shorts only because we had lost track of the days, and missed the lecture the day before.

As for 2/3 ... 2 isn't a feeling of exhilaration, but a feeling of weakness for me. 3 is just a feeling that I have completely wasted my time, and that of my wife/son.