I highly recommend reading the Encyclopedia Dramatica entry about EverQuest.
Laughed so hard because it's so damn true.
EverQuest
Moderator: Officers
EverQuest has a bunch of classes, but nowhere as much as its sequel.
Bards - A class that does everything, but not necessarily good at anything. For some reason they wear plate armor, and even has a song that cures hunger. Playing this class will give you carpal tunnel.
Beastlords - A class that only 100 people like. It's a class that summons pets, and the species depends on the character's race. Fans of this class go at great lengths to get them added in EQ2, and fail.
Berserkers - ADHD-riddled vikings that swing axes around like epileptic seagulls, and have no other use at all. When not wielding axes, they will rip and tear.
Clerics - The typical healing class. They suck at fighting but make up for it by fixing everyone else's butthurt. Whenever a cleric logs in, they will be flooded with private messages asking for them to group.
Druids - The second-best healers. Besides calling upon the powers of Captain Planet, they are masters of using portals as transportation, and doing a fair amount of damage. Basically, this class can solo pretty well... and they're overused.
Enchanters - By using flashing lights, this class can distract monsters and prevent them from attacking noobs. They're basically crowd control. IRL, they are part of riot patrol.
Magicians - With the help of their familiars, magicians will pwn anything that comes their away. When played by children, the familiars will be always named after a Pokémon.
Monks - Kung-fu fighters who wear leather and can troll monsters by pretending to be dead. Only iksar and humans can be monks, pissing off legions of animu-loving elf fantards.
Necromancers - Aside from summoning vampires and zombies, Necromancers can also do a lot of damage over time. They can also turn into a lich to regain mana when they don't have enough. Only the worst of basement dwellers play as them.
Paladins - Tanks that can kind of heal. Most notably, they run around with crosses everywhere and kill the infidels in the name of Marr!
Rangers - Archers that live in the woods, making sure poachers don't come in and ruin everything for everyone else. Lord of the Rings fanboys are huge fans of this class.
Rogues - Thieves that trap people and steal their money. They also pick locks, making it useful for lazy fucks to get by in the game. Too bad they can't get into a friends only journal.
Shadowknights - They are able to piss off multiple people at once by using hardcore metal skills and also being able to pretend to be dead, by using their corpse paint and spiked armor.
Shamans - The shittiest healer class, but make up for it for being able to turn monsters into Slowpokes. Trolls make the best shamans because they can not only do the Slowpoke attack, but also prevent enemies from moving.
Warrior - The typical fighter class that keeps the attention of monsters away from the "squishies". They prefer to kick ass all the time and wield oversized weapons.
Wizards - The typical mage class that blows shit up within five seconds. They are the most responsible for causing retarded drama involving stealing monsters from other players.
Love it.
Bards - A class that does everything, but not necessarily good at anything. For some reason they wear plate armor, and even has a song that cures hunger. Playing this class will give you carpal tunnel.
Beastlords - A class that only 100 people like. It's a class that summons pets, and the species depends on the character's race. Fans of this class go at great lengths to get them added in EQ2, and fail.
Berserkers - ADHD-riddled vikings that swing axes around like epileptic seagulls, and have no other use at all. When not wielding axes, they will rip and tear.
Clerics - The typical healing class. They suck at fighting but make up for it by fixing everyone else's butthurt. Whenever a cleric logs in, they will be flooded with private messages asking for them to group.
Druids - The second-best healers. Besides calling upon the powers of Captain Planet, they are masters of using portals as transportation, and doing a fair amount of damage. Basically, this class can solo pretty well... and they're overused.
Enchanters - By using flashing lights, this class can distract monsters and prevent them from attacking noobs. They're basically crowd control. IRL, they are part of riot patrol.
Magicians - With the help of their familiars, magicians will pwn anything that comes their away. When played by children, the familiars will be always named after a Pokémon.
Monks - Kung-fu fighters who wear leather and can troll monsters by pretending to be dead. Only iksar and humans can be monks, pissing off legions of animu-loving elf fantards.
Necromancers - Aside from summoning vampires and zombies, Necromancers can also do a lot of damage over time. They can also turn into a lich to regain mana when they don't have enough. Only the worst of basement dwellers play as them.
Paladins - Tanks that can kind of heal. Most notably, they run around with crosses everywhere and kill the infidels in the name of Marr!
Rangers - Archers that live in the woods, making sure poachers don't come in and ruin everything for everyone else. Lord of the Rings fanboys are huge fans of this class.
Rogues - Thieves that trap people and steal their money. They also pick locks, making it useful for lazy fucks to get by in the game. Too bad they can't get into a friends only journal.
Shadowknights - They are able to piss off multiple people at once by using hardcore metal skills and also being able to pretend to be dead, by using their corpse paint and spiked armor.
Shamans - The shittiest healer class, but make up for it for being able to turn monsters into Slowpokes. Trolls make the best shamans because they can not only do the Slowpoke attack, but also prevent enemies from moving.
Warrior - The typical fighter class that keeps the attention of monsters away from the "squishies". They prefer to kick ass all the time and wield oversized weapons.
Wizards - The typical mage class that blows shit up within five seconds. They are the most responsible for causing retarded drama involving stealing monsters from other players.
Love it.
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